One Year Ago

This post is going to be very personal. If that would bother you, please don't read it.

Mark Jeffrey Thompson

One year ago today my life changed. The person who I thought loved me and who had promised to love and cherish me until death decided that marriage was not his "cup of tea". We were married for more than 17 years. On June 6, 2007 I left to spend a few days in Columbus with my friend Linda at the National Quilting Association annual show. Mark seemed very happy that day, he checked over Linda's car even checking under the hood to make sure we would have a safe drive. Each night while I was away, he called me in the evening as we always do when we were apart. He acted as though everything was normal. My last spoken words to him were "I love you". Linda and I returned home very late on the evening of June 8, 2007 to find the house completely dark. When I entered the house I realized that the piano was gone, then I noticed all the other missing furniture. It was like being in a bad dream, a nightmare. It was just the beginning of what turned out to be the worst day of my life. There was a typed unsigned note: " ....I guess marriage is not my cup of tea"...... In addition, it said that he was no longer employed at Jackson National Life and did not have another job and that he would find one "eventually". There was no indication of where he was. He did not answer his cell phone. I was frantic. My neighbor came over immediately and confirmed that shortly after I had left on the 6th, Two Men and a Truck arrived and loaded up the furniture etc. She had confronted him and he got angry.

Although it is all a blur today, I know I did not sleep or eat for days. I know my friends, neighbors and family were there for me and came running when I called. I know I would not be here today without them.
During the following hours, days, weeks, and months I experienced the greatest pain one can ever imagine. It was not physical pain but pain in the heart. True heartbreak. There seemed no end to the pain of betrayal and lies. I still wonder when the lies began and what was truth and what was falsehood. I have not seen him since June 6, 2007. I don't expect I ever will.
I know his parents and family were worried and that they do not deserve the heartbreak they too have suffered. I do miss the Thompson and Fish family. They were and are a big part of my life. They are truly loving people and I hope to stay in touch with them.

I still have questions, ones that will probably never be answered with the truth. I know others have gone through similar events in their lives and survived. Some even have better lives now. I know I deserve better. Friends have told me that what he did had nothing to do with me, that I did nothing wrong and that it is his loss and he is a coward among other things. I do know that I would never do something like this to someone I loved. I know I kept my vows. I don't know how anyone could live with themselves after betraying another person like he did. I am sure he must need mental health care. I doubt he would ever get it. I know the man who did this was not the same man that I married and loved for 19+ years.
Mark with my Mom.
Mark playing the guitar with Smokey. He told his attorney, he was never "keen" about the cats and never wanted them in the first place. The facts are otherwise. I know that the man I knew very much loved them and took great care of them.
At Carl's birthday party, with my brothers and nephews.
Christmas at Jim and Wendy's.
Up north at Terri and Rodney's house.
In the Upper Peninsula.
At my Aunt Mary's cottage. Mark, me, Mary and Hoover.
50th Anniversary Trip with Mark's parents Ann and Bill in the UP, June 2005.
Playing the piano with Jackson.
On the beach at Ludington.
Christmas.

At my Mom's.

My friends, family, and coworkers told me that I could make it. Today, I believe them. I have survived. I get through each day as best I can. I am happy sometimes and sad sometimes but the happy times are in the lead lately. My life is full of people who care about me and people I care about. I am thankful that I have a safe home, a good job and I am able to spend time doing things I enjoy and that are rewarding.

I don't have any expectations but I am still looking for the true love of my life. He is out there somewhere. If you see him let me know. Its time for my "cup of tea".

This journal quilt was at the Chicago International Quilt Show, April 2008.